What Does The Bible Say About Marriage and Relationships?

More Than a Wedding Day

Relationships are messy. They are complicated, emotional, and deeply personal. There is no one-size-fits-all template, and anyone who claims otherwise probably has not been in one long enough. So when Crowd Church takes on the question of what the Bible says about marriage and relationships, it is worth noting from the start that this is a massive topic with a lot of nuance.

Matt Edmundson is joined by Anna Kettle for this episode, and the talk comes from Pastor John Harding. John is upfront about the fact that he cannot cover every situation or scenario in a single talk. What he can do is outline some of the key principles the Bible offers — and he does so with warmth, humility, and a clear emphasis on one thing above all else: God loves you.

Starting With Love, Not Rules

Before getting into any of the specifics, John makes something clear. Whatever your experience of relationships — whether you have been through divorce, heartbreak, or are navigating something painful right now — God loves you. He sees you. He knows everything you have been through.

"Right at the start of this talk today on relationships, I want to stress one truth, one idea above all," John says. "God loves you. He loves you with all of his love, all of the time."

This is not a throwaway statement. It is the foundation everything else rests on. John is not interested in judging anyone. He wants to call people into "a more fulfilled way of living — the pattern for living that we see in the Bible."

God Is Relational by Nature

John's first point is theological but deeply practical. The God of the Bible, he argues, is inherently relational. Christians believe in the Trinity — Father, Son, and Spirit — three persons in a loving, unending relationship of perfect equality and unity.

This matters because human beings are made in God's image. If God exists in relationship, then we are designed for it too. Friendship, family, marriage — all of these are meant to reflect something of God's own nature.

John's practical takeaway from this? Get the vertical relationship right first. When our relationship with God is in good shape, the horizontal ones — our relationships with other people — tend to be far more fruitful and fulfilling.

Equality in Marriage

One of the most interesting parts of John's talk is his treatment of equality between men and women in marriage. He acknowledges that Christians have sometimes got this wrong in the past.

In Genesis, Eve is described as Adam's "suitable helper." But John digs into the original Hebrew and points out that the word "helper" has nothing to do with inferiority. The same word is used throughout the Bible to describe God himself — and God cannot be inferior to anyone.

The word "suitable," meanwhile, means "one who stands face to face, who boldly looks the other in the eye." Eve was Adam's equal. That is what made her suitable.

Inequality between men and women, John argues, only entered the picture after sin entered the world. "If you're a Christian and you're treating a person you're in relationship with as less than you," he says, "I would say you are cooperating with the fall."

Leave, Cleave, One Flesh

John then walks through the Bible's consistent description of marriage, drawn from Genesis 2:24 and quoted by Jesus himself: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother, cleave to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

He breaks this into three parts:

Leave — the legal dimension. Marriage is a public, legally binding commitment. In every culture, the Bible describes marriage as something that involves a ceremony and a formal leaving of the parental relationship. You cannot have a successful marriage if one or both partners still prioritise the old family dynamic over the new one.

Cleave — the emotional dimension. This old-fashioned word simply means to be joined together. It is about exclusive intimacy, a unique kind of love that belongs only within the marriage relationship.

One flesh — the physical and spiritual union. Two lives becoming one.

John is careful to acknowledge that he is speaking generally. He cannot cover every variation and circumstance — especially situations where a marriage may need to end for someone's safety. His encouragement for those in complex situations is to get connected into a small group of Christians where they can talk things through and hear God's wisdom.

Singleness Matters Too

John is equally affirming of singleness, which the Bible also celebrates. He pairs his points about marriage with a clear statement that deep, non-sexual friendships are just as valued in scripture.

This is an important balance. In a culture that often treats romantic relationships as the ultimate goal, the Bible presents singleness as a legitimate and honourable way of life — not a waiting room for marriage.

What This Looks Like in Practice

The conversation afterwards between Matt and Anna touches on the practical side of relationships — the daily reality of making love work when life is busy, children are demanding, and you are both tired.

John's talk does not offer a magic formula. What it does offer is a framework: start with God, treat each other as equals, commit publicly, prioritise the relationship, and be willing to seek support when things get hard.

A Question to Carry Forward

Relationships will always be complex. No talk, however good, can address every situation. But John leaves us with something worth thinking about.

If God is relational by nature, and we are made in his image, then the quality of our relationships says something about how closely we are reflecting that image. Not perfectly — never perfectly — but intentionally.

What would it look like to bring more of God's character — equality, commitment, sacrificial love — into the relationships that matter most to you?