It is one of the most uncomfortable questions in faith. Why would a loving God require the death of his own son? We unpack the reasoning, the theology, and the deeply personal implications of the cross without resorting to easy answers.
01Why the Death of Jesus Still Matters Two Thousand Years On
It is possibly the most important question in the Christian faith. Why did Jesus have to die? Not just how — the crucifixion itself is well documented — but why. What was the point of it? What did it achieve? And what, if anything, does it have to do with ordinary people trying to make sense of life in the twenty-first century?
Anna Grace, part of the Crowd Church team, takes on this question directly, walking through the account in Mark's Gospel and pulling out what she sees as the practical implications for anyone willing to listen.
02Darkness Over the Whole Land
The passage in question is Mark 15:33-41, and the details are stark. "When the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'"
Those words are worth pausing on. Jesus — who Christians believe was fully God and fully human — cried out in genuine anguish. This was not a performance. Anna Grace makes the point clearly: "In this moment on the cross, Jesus was truly abandoned. He was bearing the wrath of God and the weight of our sin, and he cried out. He felt the anguish."
John Piper is quoted in the talk putting it this way: "He was amazingly fulfilling Scripture in the horror of it all, and witnessing to the perfection of the plan of salvation."
There is something raw about this scene that resists being tidied up. A man crying out to God, asking why he has been forsaken, while the sky goes dark. Whatever you believe about Jesus, the emotional weight of that moment is hard to ignore.
03The Curtain That Tore
Something happened at the moment Jesus died that the talk highlights as hugely significant. The curtain in the temple — a thick, woven barrier separating ordinary people from the presence of God — tore in two from top to bottom.
To understand why this matters, you need some context. In the Jewish temple, only the high priest was allowed to enter the innermost room, known as the Holy of Holies. If you needed something from God, the priest had to go on your behalf. There was no direct access. The curtain — roughly nine centimetres thick — stood as a physical reminder that God was present but not available. Not to you, anyway.
When that curtain tore, the symbolism was unmistakable. "Now we can enter into God's presence," Anna Grace explains. "Now we have direct access to him. Now there's no separation."
That is, in practical terms, what Christians believe the death of Jesus achieved. Not a religious ritual or a theological abstraction, but a removal of the barrier between people and God. Before the cross, access was restricted. After the cross, it was open.
04The Question Everyone Brings
Most people approaching the story of Jesus's death bring a version of the same question: why would God require this? Could he not have found another way?
The talk points to John 3:16 for the answer: "God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
The word "gave" is doing a lot of work in that sentence. This was not something that happened to God. It was something God chose. The driving motivation, according to the text, was love — not obligation, not anger, not cosmic bureaucracy.
Anna Grace puts it simply: "God loved us so much that he didn't want us to die. He didn't want us to be separated from him. He wanted to spend eternity with us. So he made a way."
That framing shifts the conversation. The death of Jesus is not presented as punishment for its own sake, but as the cost of removing an obstacle. The obstacle being the gap between a perfect God and imperfect people.
05It Was Always the Plan
One of the more striking points in the talk is that Jesus's death was not a surprise to God. It was prophesied throughout the Old Testament — hundreds of years before it happened.
The words Jesus cried on the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me," are a direct quote from Psalm 22, written roughly a thousand years earlier. The shedding of blood for the forgiveness of sins is prefigured in Leviticus. The mocking of the crowds was prophesied. The details were not coincidental.
This matters because it addresses a common objection: that the crucifixion was a tragic accident or a plan gone wrong. According to the biblical account, it was neither. It was the central event that everything else pointed towards.
06What Anna Grace Learned From Her Own Story
The talk moves from theology to testimony, and this is where it becomes personal. "I'm standing here today on testimony after testimony of how, by acknowledging Jesus's death on the cross and recognising my sin and repenting from it — making a complete one-eighty turn from who I was before I met Jesus — I have had the greatest joy, the greatest freedom, and the deepest contentment that I've ever known."
She is quick to add a caveat. "It doesn't mean that my life has been perfect, or that I haven't faced suffering, or I'm not going through hard times, or that I don't feel sad or hurt or pain. It's not that at all."
What it does mean, she says, is going through difficulty within a relationship. "I have so much peace knowing that as I suffer, as I go through hardship, I'm going through it within a very intimate relationship with a selfless, powerful, holy, loving God who's a God of miracles."
That is an honest account. No promise that faith makes everything easy. Just a claim that it changes who you are walking through the hard things with.
07The Centurion Who Saw It
There is a small detail in the passage that is easy to miss. A Roman centurion — a soldier, not a disciple, not a believer — was standing facing Jesus when he died. And his response was immediate: "Truly this man was the Son of God."
This was a man trained in violence, who had presumably overseen many executions. Something about the way Jesus died was different enough to make a hardened soldier reach a conclusion that the religious leaders of the day were working overtime to deny.
The death of Jesus had an effect on the people who witnessed it. Not just the disciples. Not just the women who watched from a distance. Even the people on the wrong side of the story were moved.
08Making It Real
If you have grown up with this story. Anna Grace has a direct challenge: "I really want to encourage you, to challenge you, to think about what Jesus's death means. Remind yourself of what he's done for you. I forget. I don't think about it all the time." Familiarity can drain the power from any story. Take time to sit with it fresh.
If you have never heard this before. You are welcome here, and your questions are welcome too. Anna Grace's invitation is genuine: "If you're moved by who this person is and was and you want to pursue him, please reach out."
If you are still sceptical. That is also fine. "I want to tell you that you're still welcome here, and that we welcome your questions, and that this is a safe place to be and to wrestle with things."
If you are carrying guilt or shame. The talk addresses this directly. Acknowledging past mistakes is part of the journey, but living in shame is not. "We don't have to live in that shame or guilt of who we once were, because we're now free. We're forgiven and we are completely new."
09Your Next Steps
Read Mark 15:33-41. It is short but dense. Read it slowly. Notice what stands out to you — not what you think should stand out, but what actually does.
Consider the curtain. What barriers do you feel exist between you and God? The Christian claim is that those barriers have already been removed. What would it mean if that were true?
Sit with the cost. It is easy to move quickly past the crucifixion to the resurrection. The talk deliberately stays at the cross. Spend some time there. What does it tell you about the kind of God who would choose this?
Ask your question. Whatever it is — why did this have to happen, does it apply to me, what do I do now — bring it. This is not a conversation that benefits from pretending you have no doubts.
10The Cross and What Comes After
The death of Jesus is not comfortable. It is not meant to be. A man dying in agony, crying out to God, while the sky goes dark — there is nothing polished about that. But the Christian claim is that in that moment, something shifted for the entire human race. A barrier was removed. Access was granted. A way was made.
So here is the question: if God went to that length to remove what stood between you and him, what is stopping you from walking through the door?
Topics in this talk
View Full Transcript
so uh do um bye more well good afternoon and welcome to crowd church live streams great you're here happy sunday afternoon now besides me we have a brand new face rach good afternoon how are we doing hi matt i'm doing great thank you and it's amazing to be here so um yeah hi hi everyone how you doing indeed now if you are a regular of crowd church you will have seen rachel's face before she's been involved in many a thing to do with crowd but today we actually roped rachen to help host the show so uh i'm excited by this rach and i've been friends for night on 30 years so uh yeah someone said yeah someone says a long time rage others maybe not so i don't know okay okay well it's more than half of my life so yes it's quite a while isn't it it is yeah i'm sorry about that i'm sorry about that now let me just uh do some quick uh housekeeping stuff so if you are new to crowd church just let you know we are a digital church we're not a building necessarily but we are a community we are a family of people we are an online church for those that might not see the point of church but want to know more about how jesus can help us live a more meaningful life is what we say to folks so you are welcome here regardless of where you are on your faith journey that's for sure i know a lot of you have faith and a lot of you watching don't and that's fine we're just here to explore and understand it all isn't that right rach it's right and as my lovely husband would say we're all on a journey and um and i can hear him saying that as well oh yeah that's his favorite phrase and you know there's a beginning and an end but it's what we do in the middle that's really important as well and god cares about all of it so um yeah let's encourage each other on the journey and that's why we're here yeah absolutely no it's great to be here now make sure you say hi in the comments let us know where you are watching the live stream from if we don't already know be great to connect with you uh and if you're feeling brave or you're kind of that way inclined why not share it out on facebook uh or on youtube if you're watching us over on youtube as well um just invite people along say hey i'm watching church online on sunday why not come join me uh come and join in the conversation because let me tell you this week is a week of new stuff that's for sure so we have def max just put in the comments here uh we've got he's got an awesome question this week matt i have to tell you right nicolas beat you to it already but so i'm sorry but we'll get to nicolas question so just you know i mean by all means put it in the comments but you know it is what it is uh so who have we got here in the comments let me just uh let's have a look we've got sharon we've got nicola your husband's watching rach as one would expect good job who's cheering you on my kids to watch i said to the kids do you want to watch they're like nah maybe later maybe watch it on catch up mum maybe not live so yeah no we've got uh we got matt crew watching we've got sharon uh and we've got antoine and priscilla watching as well bonjour uh as about as far as my french is gonna go so um yeah how is your french rage is it any good really bad so you're not going to do the 20 year old daughters are better than me and they correct me all the time so yeah oh okay well i thought that's what 14 year old daughters just do i just think they correct you all the time any time yeah all the time absolutely now rach what have we got coming up today why don't you tell the good folks watching hi everyone so i've always wanted to be a chat show host i think i'd be um i'll be interesting wouldn't i anyway so today we have a fantastic talk coming our way from anna grace she's doing a brilliant talk on why did jesus die you know when you hear that phrase you're like oh my goodness but it would be really great to hear what she's got to say about that and it's really great because it will generate questions as well and we want to hear all your questions and we want you to share them with us and then we're going to go into a time of worship and reflection um which i love and then we're going to have a time of questions and comments me and matt are up for any questions no questions a death question by the way and if you're thinking it probably someone else's so put it in the chat we want to know what you've got to say and then we're gonna have um catch up with elias so another new face for you to go hi to so um that would be good fun as well from elias so that's what we have for today brilliant that is exactly what we have today and if you are regular to grow church you will go well hang on a minute where's sally uh and sally is having a well-earned break so i know she's at home watching so hope you're doing well so yeah yeah absolutely it'd be good to see you back but um yeah yeah it's nice it's good to actually have a whole bunch of women involved in crowd church i'm not gonna lie it's great you're here rach i'm super excited uh about the whole thing now let me say uh that i hope obviously you find a church wherever you are a local church that you can get into and be part of that community but if you are not a member of a church already then let me invite you to consider uh crowd church um to be your church home and make sure you come check us out again we are here every sunday live streaming at 4 p.m doing the digital church thing yes we are why don't you talk about the prayer thing rach and i'll bring the whatsapp number okay so as um believers we love to pray um and we will offer to pray for you you don't have to be a believer um or you may have big questions about faith but you know what god cares about every single one of us and if you've got something going on in your life and you need that bit of support and you want prayer then you can get in touch with us you can put it in the chat or you might wanna message us on the whatsapp or email us you can see the details at the bottom but please don't if there's something that's going on for you and you need to share it and you need prayer support that's what we're here for and we will pray you know it's not just saying it oh share it and then nothing happens we will pray and we do believe that god will do something for you so share it with us now i was going to say point to it where is it you're doing exactly what sal does excellent oh it's great sal if you're watching this you'll be pleased it's not just you then uh the struggle is just to do that and point to the number first off see every time uh but one more try right try and point to it again okay so it's opposite oh dear it's great there you go this is becoming like this is going to be one of those tests that we just get people to do the whole time now when they come on it's like can they point to the number on the bottom of the screen principally because when you're on a live stream uh the computer screen flips everything around and it just really confuses your brain so um thank you matt it's not just me no no it's not issue it's sal as well and that's fine and uh it just amuses me so it's just part of my day and my weekly ritual but that's not to detract from the fact that if you do genuinely need prayer then obviously use the number in the corner of the screen uh or below the bottom of the screen or connect with us via the website that will be great must put here hilarious the spirit of sally birch is alive and well that's good that's good because you're in it you're in it absolutely right let's jump into this week's talk now if you are new to the stream let me just give you a bit of background we have spent uh the entire life of crowd it seems uh going through mark's gospel and we've been mark's gospel is a book in the new testament it's one of the gospels written that chronicles the life of jesus one of the four books and mark um is actually bizarrely the shortest of the gospels it's just taken a really long time to go through and we take a little bit of mark each week and we we read it we think and we have a little talk about it and then we'll get into the the questions and answers which rach mentioned earlier in a just a little bit so this week's talk we are at the stage now where um jesus has been arrested if you remember if you've been with us in previous live stream jesus has been arrested and he has been sent to be crucified and last week we talked about the crucifixion of christ and the horror of that this week anna grace is going to be talking about why jesus died now anna grace is a beautiful beautiful young lady you will have seen her do some of the instagram stuff she's part of the team here she loves the whole instagram thing um and so you'll have seen her on instagram a few followers on instagram if you don't go to instagram.com forward slash crowd church and follow us and follow along there so yeah this is anna grace talking about why did jesus die and then as rachel we're going to do some worship and reflection afterwards we'll be back after this hiya my name is anna grace and i'm a part of the team here at crowd church and i'm also an active member at frontline church here in liverpool and as you can probably tell i'm not from here i'm from the us of a um but i have been living in the uk now since 2016. so quite some time um i'm really looking forward to sharing with you today and i pray that as we spend these next um few minutes together that um you really meet god in a deep way and you really understand his love for you and his purpose for your life and i've been asked to talk about jesus's death and i think the best place to always begin is with scripture so i thought we should read mark 15 33-41 together now so if you have your bibles please join me um as we read so it says and when the sixth hour had come there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour and at the ninth hour jesus cried with a loud voice my god my god why have you forsaken me and some of the bystanders hearing it said behold he is calling elijah and someone ran and filled a sponge with sour wine put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink saying wait let us see whether elijah will come and take him down and jesus uttered a loud cry and breathed his last and the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom and when the centurion who stood facing him saw that in this way he breathed his last he said truly this man was the son of god there were also women looking on from a distance among whom were mary magdalene and mary the mother of james the younger and of joseph and salome and when he was in galilee they followed him and ministered to him and there were also many other women who came up with him to jerusalem i don't know if i pronounced those names right but you get the gist um so there's so much in this passage and this event is is extremely important for us not just as christians but just as humanity um and the biggest thing i noticed when reading this passage um was jesus's humanness and you can see this humanness and the emotion jesus is showing um as he's crying out to god asking why he's forsaking him i mean we know from scripture that jesus was is the son of god um and that he isn't split up into different percentages so he's not 20 this and 80 that he's 100 god and 100 man and this is very important for us to realize and understand as we move forward today and in this moment on the cross jesus was truly abandoned he was bearing the wrath of god and the weight of our sin and he cried out he felt the anguish but he wasn't he wasn't asking for an answer he was expressing his state of emptiness and john piper puts it brilliantly he says this he says he was amazingly fulfilling scripture in the horror of it all and witnessing to the perfection the plan of salvation simply put jesus knew what he had to do for the salvation of the world he bore our sin on the cross he endured the pain because he knew that the only way for us to experience salvation eternal life was through his death i don't know about you but i feel extremely humbled by that that for some reason my life your life our lives um jesus went to the cross willingly for what an unconditional love what mercy what grace jesus went to the cross willingly for you and for me he didn't have to be persuaded he didn't have to make a pro on cons list he knew what he had to what had to be done because of his divinity because he he was fully god he knew and if you continue reading you'll see that when jesus took his last breath the curtain at the temple was torn in two from from top to bottom and when you read this you could think great why is this significant to me so let's look at some context and back in those days two curtains separated the holy of holies from the lesser holy place during the period of the second temple and these curtains were woven to a thickness of about nine centimeters so this curtain represented entering the presence of god so when you passed it you were in god's presence and only the high priest was allowed to enter so if you ever needed to go to the holy of holies for any reason the priest had to do it on your behalf so when jesus breathed his last breath and the veil was split and two from top to bottom this really thick fail it was an extremely um profound moment a profound statement saying that now we can enter into god's presence and now we have direct access to him and now there's no separation this is huge that the god who created the heavens and the earth who gives life takes life away has made a way for us to have direct um direct relationship with him and the scripture is extremely clear that by acknowledging that jesus died for us and bore the weight of our sin that we will get to have eternity with him and we don't have to fear death because jesus has conquered it you know and um in john chapter 3 jesus is explaining salvation to a pharisee named nicodemus so let's read those verses together real quick it's um john 3 16 um to 21. so it says for god to love the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life for god did not send his son into the world to condemn the world but in order that the world might be saved through him whoever believes in him is not condemned but whoever does not believe is condemned already because he has not believed in the name of the only son of and this is the judgment the light has come into the world and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil for everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light lest his work should be exposed but whoever does what is true comes to the light so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in god so this passage is very popular and if you've ever grown up in a church or heard any evangelist speaking you will hear them use this passage to explain what the gospel is what jesus has done for you for me and i really appreciate the clarity and the explicity at which salvation is explained um it doesn't beat around the bush and it clearly states that god loved us so much that he didn't want us to die he didn't want us to be separated from him um he wanted to spend eternity with us so he made a way and in these verses it's very clear that our sin nature is ugly and that if we lived by our flesh that we would get into all sorts of trouble um and i think it's important to address that even though we we need to acknowledge our sin and that we were sinners um saved by grace that that we don't have to live in that shame or guilt of who we once were because we're now free because we're not forgiven and we are completely new um that's such good news that this gospel is an elitist that this gospel that this good news of jesus that it it's for everyone it's for all people and we have access to the one who created us and the one who created it all and and finally we can see that in the new testament not just in mark but in all the gospels that this documentation of jesus's death was actually a fulfillment of old testament prophecy and that this is one of the many reasons why the old testament is still relevant to us today so you can see that the old testament prophesied jesus's blood being shed if you look at leviticus um and in psalm 22 which you hear him quote whilst he's on the cross um it was prophesied that jesus would be forsaken and those are the words my god my god why have you forsaken me that jesus uses to he says it on the cross um and then if you look ahead in verse eight you'll see that as prophesied that jesus would be scorned and you see this happened throughout all the gospels that crowds are mocking jesus and that people are mocking him saying you know why isn't god coming down and saving you jesus's death was the plan for salvation from the very beginning now this is a lot of life-changing information and pretty intense theology for a sunday afternoon um but before we finished i wanted to make sure we addressed like how do we respond to this what is the practical response to reading about the death of jesus and it's important to us its importance to us um ultimately i think this news of what jesus's death meant beckons us to follow him and for me this this knowledge makes me want to um worship him it makes me feel so much reverence for him in awe of this god in his glory and what he's done to ultimately express his holiness but also to save us as well and it also um makes me want to know more about what this sacrifice has done for my life what what does this mean for my friends what does this mean for my family and if you've um if you're watching today and you've you've grown up in a christian home um i really want to to encourage you to challenge you to think about what jesus's death means and to to remind yourself um of what he's done for you um because i know that that i i forget that i don't think about it all the time that i think about all the really lovely things the things that aren't as horrific and graphic but jesus died for us in a really horrible way and that's extremely humbling um and really good for us to to tell ourselves uh to remind ourselves of of how we got to where we are today and how we have this relationship with god in such an intimate and personal way but if you've never heard about the person of jesus until today and you're moved by who this person is and was and you want to pursue him please please reach out um to anyone here at crowd church and i'm sure we'd all love to talk to you and start walking this journey with you um and then if you're also watching today and you're still extremely skeptical about who jesus was and is and i want to tell you that you're still welcome here and that we welcome your questions and we want to hear them and that this is a safe place to to be and to wrestle with things um and when when talking about jesus's death it's easy to jump forward to the resurrection because it's a very beautiful thing and it's an amazing thing and it's a miracle um and we will be getting there next week but i have intentionally tried to stay put on what happened in these verses in in mark i want my heart is for those who are listening to this to really understand the weight of what jesus did on the cross and how it wasn't a pretty thing but it was the most selfless and sacrificial act of love like ever um to know that jesus went to the cross willingly knowing my sin and all the selfish things i would do throughout my life commands my whole being and because of this i i give my life to him joyfully and i'm standing here today on testimony after testimony of how by acknowledging jesus's death on the cross and recognizing my sin and repenting from it from turning away making a complete 180 turn from who i was before i met jesus um i have i have had the the greatest joy the greatest freedom and like the deepest contentment that i've ever known um and it doesn't mean that my life has been like perfect or that i haven't faced suffering or i'm not going through hard times or that i don't you know feel sad or hurt or pain it's not bad at all jesus death proves that he understands that our earthly life will have suffering and um i have so much peace and knowing that as i suffer as i go through hardship that i'm going through it within a very intimate relationship with a selfless powerful holy loving god who's a god of miracles you know and ultimately i i want to take the focus away from ourselves and point it back to jesus because he's do it all he's worthy of it all he's worthy of everything and even though this death on the cross affects us in life-altering ways it's still ultimately about god and his glory and these scriptures point to him they point to his character they point to his nature jesus death is important to us um because it shows us what kind of god we have and i want to finish with another quote from john piper um and it says this it says here is a great objective foundation for the full assurance of hope the forgiveness of sins is grounded finally not in my finite worth or work but in the infinite worth of the righteousness of god god's unswerving allegiance to uphold and vindicate the glory of his name hmm okay so let's try that again hopefully you can hear me now uh i appreciate you all letting me know in the comments if you can't hear me uh but they can hear me now which is great maybe going forward i should be quiet a little bit more often because you comment more okay so i was saying a big thanks to aj for doing that talk i really appreciate you taking the time to do that um and what questions do you now have in your mind after listening to that talk what questions do you have about the death of write those in the comments because rachel and i are going to get into that in just a few minutes time we are now going to have a time of worship and reflection and so what that basically means is uh if you're new to the stream we're gonna play some christian we're gonna play a christian song and we are gonna get into uh that for a few minutes if you're kind of new to this whole thing just listen to the music just listen to the words and think about what they mean uh but if you are a person of faith or even if you're not and you just want to join along and have a good old sing song is the time to do that we are going to be singing a song called when i survey which is actually a hymn that was written in the 1700s by a chap called isaac watts but the truth in the hymn is timeless it's a beautiful song and the lyrics are just astounding so listen to them when i survey it starts off with us with a statement when i survey the wondrous cross and it match it just might sound a bit odd to call it wondrous um especially after you know we kind of had the crucifixion talk last week and the talk this week about the death of jesus but it is wondrous and we're going to get into that a little bit more so without further ado let me press this button on my pad here we're going to have this time of voice prime reflection and i'm ready to be back and uh rage and i'll be back in just a few minutes time when i surveyed the wondrous on which the prince of glory died my richest gay i counted and poor content on all my pride lord in of christ my god all the vain things see from his head his hands his feet sorrow and love flowing down did such love and sorrow me or thorns composed so richard i thank you for the cross i thank you for the cross i thank you for the cross my lord i of nature my you smile divine demands my soul my life my own i thank you for the cross my lord love you for the cross i love you for the cross my love you for the clothes well there we go what a beautiful song beautiful song i love that song timeless timeless you just adjust your camera there rach get yourself sorted out that's fine no no i don't know what i've done sorry it's all gone it's all gone i want to see you there you go there we go [Laughter] so uh anna grace's talk um so we talked about why did jesus die and it kind of made me think of that scripture that paul the apostle paul saint paul he wrote in the book of colossians he said this um and you were dead in your trespasses and he's made us alive together with him for giving us our trespasses or sins is another word for that by cancelling the record of the debt that stood against us with its demands and nailing it to the cross and yeah i think that that just that just sums it all up for me right there it's and aj touched on this didn't she what what do you think rach this whole thing nailing it to the cross not just jesus but our debt our sin well i think you know when you think about before so god gave his people ways to try and stay holy things to do to try and keep in line with god to follow his ways and quite often they would slip up they would mess up or they'd make completely bonkers choices and completely turn away from him and we all have our tendency to do that um you know people can um look at christians and go it's all about the ten commandments and waggling your finger and going oh you've messed up there and you've blown it there and you know you're guilty but like if you think the list of everything that we've done or that we couldn't keep up with the rules and the regulations and the list can go on and on and on and you can feel really bad about it and that verse is amazing because it's like they're all rolled up with one massive nail whack they're on the cross they are covered once and for all and that took me a long time to understand and when i did boy did a weight lift off of me and it was wonderful you know but um yeah it's it can feel like a massive concept to get your head round why did it take you a long time to understand it well i think i'm a bit of a rules person matt if i'm honest what does that mean i think i'd like yeah i think um i joke about this but if i didn't do my job now which is supporting families i probably work for the health and safety executives and for those of you who are watching outside of the uk the health and safety executive is that branch of government which is nothing but rules to try and keep us well healthy and safe yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know why the rules are there and they make sense to me but actually i can't live my life by a rule book that's not enough that's not enough to mean that i've got a relationship with god um it's not about following the rules all the time and the regulations and the do's and the don'ts it's about my heart knowing that it's been made right with god and all the things that i feel really guilty and ashamed about have been dealt with because of jesus and only he could do it not me being a good girl and i've tried to be a good girl and it doesn't work okay well that's that's good to know uh nicholas put here in the comments sometimes i think my sins are just too much to be forgiven but that's obviously not true jesus is there saying come give it to me have you ever felt like that like you couldn't actually i mean it's a you know this metaphorical thing you couldn't actually nail them to the cross yeah so there were certain things where i know i blatantly turned my back on god i felt this sense of don't go that way go that way also you can't don't go that way god's saying don't go that way go you didn't say it quite like that and i was like god i'm going to ignore you now and i'm just going to do what i want to and it was all right for a time and it felt great but then after a while it's almost like you know people use the phrase the wheels fell off and then life just was not where i wanted it to be but i felt so ashamed i just felt like i've blatantly gone against what i know to be the right thing i've chosen to just go a bit bonkers right now and do something that is not the right thing and i felt so ashamed and i i think i tried to make it better myself rather than just going almost like falling apart sounds too dramatic in some ways but i guess it was almost falling apart before god and going oh i've just blown it completely and then bringing all of that to him and um i've heard the analogy of it it's a bit like an onion like can be a bit like onion layers you know and you give this layer to god and then god's like yeah but i want to go a bit deeper all right god i'll give you it's layer and god wants to get to the heart of us and eventually go god have it all yeah have it yeah wow so the um so this talk why did jesus die and nailing all that sort of stuff to the cross it and listening to you talk you can come away with the conclusion that jesus went to the cross once but to quote your husband life's a journey and do you feel like you're constantly nailing stuff to the cross throughout your christian walk yeah well you shared the verse i think or the bit of the bible about um or no i heard it today i heard it today i think in church this morning sometimes there are things that are like niggles that i'm just repeatedly bringing back to god because i'm trying to sort it all out of me and strength and then i go oh but i can't sort it out i can't sort it out and then i just give it back to him and there's just a sense of relief that i don't have to be perfect but that he is doing stuff in me and like refining me and like i really love jewellery math so you know i used to make jewelry years ago and one day i'd love to do silversmithing okay when you're refining silver apparently what you do is you have to heat it over a flame and flames can be like the hard times almost but all the imperfections come out under pressure or you know with the fire and then the silversmith can take them off and it's he's refined in the silver or she's refining the silver and that's a bit like what god does in our lives he's like i love you and i accept you because of and um things can be great for a while and then you feel like the heat turns up and you're like oh my goodness but god's like it's okay you can trust me and i'm just gonna refine that bit of your life it's okay trust me trust me you know i'm good i'm good yeah that's good yeah all the time that's a really interesting point and i i kind of wonder um you know when you when you think about nailing stuff to the cross um because if you've been around church for a while you'll have heard this phrase i'll just nail it to the cross i mean bring it to jesus and nail it to the cross what does that practically mean though i mean how if i how do i actually do that yeah because it doesn't work because none of us are really walking around with hammers and nails a lot of requirements unless it's your job yeah you know it's it's a bit of a it's like one of those illustrations isn't it that's almost can feeling like a little bit like back in the day sort of thing rather than now i think when anna grace was talking i kept thinking a lot of the words she said out of the bible were to do with and i've written down a phrase it's like bring the things that are bothering you out into the light you know people generally talk about um open up share your burden um do do something to bring that thing or those things that are bothering you out into the open and you'll feel better and i just think that can be a little bit like an image of nailing something to the cross like talking to someone that you trust sharing it with crowd church people that you trust writing it down in a private book or making a note on your phone or whatever and like saying or even talking out loud and saying to i bring this thing or these things or this part of my life or my history out into the light and then when you do that it's like god does something amazing where he can start to bring change yeah or start to heal or restore so yeah that's great that's yeah antoine has said uh beautiful analogy with the silversmith thank you oh that's cool yep so that's obviously work which is great nice that's fantastic now rach you may or may not be familiar with this uh have this being your first sort of conversation street q a type at the end of q a as i wrap it up we always have um a question normally from nicola occasionally matt crew tries to muscle in um if you know nicola's not quick enough but nikola this week sent me the question so i'm going to ask you the question okay and it's not spiritual at all it's never spiritual this is just our way of just i don't know what we just did this has become tradition yeah yeah yeah um what is the best and worst purchase you have ever made oh my word that you can sell you know on a live stream you can't budget oh my goodness can i tell you my best recent purchase yeah go for it i bought a paddleboard ah yeah and you bought a blower paddleboard as well didn't you here's my lifejacket and why is that one of your best purchases rach because it means that i can get outside be on the water and have some fun and i can just get away from it all and that's good fun for me yeah brilliant and what's one of the worst purchases you've ever made me one of the worst producers i've ever made a property in spain that was an unmitigated disaster should never have that yeah we could join them with that one we can laugh now after many many tears uh yeah trying to trying to get in the property market in spain was was probably the worst thing i've ever done uh so maybe i should go and get a paddleboard cheer myself up on a saturday um but yeah no what's the best and worst purchase you've ever made these are the most deep questions according to nicola in the comment uh great news matt says here the united liverpool game is delayed apparently there's been some protests um sharon says great stuff for h which is great so right i think we will end conversation street there we are now going to do some catch-up so this is another new face this week so let me uh find the button on my screen here it let's do catch-up hello and welcome to cart shop my name's elias casey right now catch up like a little like section uh in this series we talk about what we've been doing this week uh like photos videos have been my week pretty dull to be honest the highlight was getting takeaway at school on the thursday it'd been quite a long day and i was like you know what i need take away anyways when it's gonna get it sounds very nice some spring rolls some chips that was great so hopefully other people have got more exciting clips than that so yeah here we go here's the here's the clip this week has been a pretty chilled week actually it's my first week of study leave i've got exams in a little over a week and it's been great just been sat in my room studying quietly met with a few friends played football on test day oh very nice so there are the clips thank everyone for sending in clips do remember if you want to send in your own clips you can use the number on the screen and what's up them if you're really trendy and on point you can use instagram with the hashtag crowdcatcher thanks everyone we'll see you next week okay i like that if you're trendy and on point you can use the hashtag crowdcatchup on instagram i i'm obviously not trending on point because i just text it to josh i've given up being trendy and on point and then when i do something that might be a little bit trendy and on point my kids just look at me like yeah like how dare you mom be trendy and on point that's just not right on any kind of level yeah yeah did i just say i love matt cruz posts that i see regularly about what he's eating and i love that he knows what day of lockdown we've been on i can trust matt to keep in mind day 586 or whatever it is now yeah hey hey jen jan jan's like your twin sister from uni yeah so jan and i were like just known as rach and jan or jan and rach like for a while certain people never knew who was who they got confused between you and chad i was probably one of them back in the early days rachel says i'm not probably back in the day matt back in the day yeah back in the day back in the day apparently we're on day 406 of lock down now so thank you yeah i appreciate that matt uh so so yeah catch up make sure you sending your photos and your videos to um the whatsapp number which again i'll put on the screen uh by clicking this button here uh you can also send your prayer requests into there you go you can point to it now right done sending your prairie quest uh to that number as well as all your crowd catch-up material would be great to hear from you uh and yes ma'am i'm aware that elias was on the livestream last week this was the first time he's hosted it so we've got a new host in reach how's rach done by the way what do we think do we like rach hosting the show i've loved having you here rach have you found it yeah yeah no i've loved it actually um yeah it's it's really good fun and i'd love to see everyone's comments as well so yeah i'll do it again matt if you ask me i'll wait for you on the team now you're never getting off the rotor that's the problem that's that's basically how it goes uh so jan says here we're so beautiful that's well that's why people couldn't recognize you uh apart that's right two very beautiful women i'm not gonna argue very beautiful women yeah yeah absolutely it's been too long since i've seen you as well jen you need say hi next time you're in liverpool sharon says you were fab rage thanks chatty oh and hi chad or sharon bingham yeah miss bingham there well done yeah yeah yeah so you know well i love what you're doing here matt you're creating or you've made a community either we all need don't we we all need to connect we all need to be in community and it's fab and um i love the news as well at the end i love that catch up yeah yeah yeah absolutely so listen josh and elias you heard that so you can now chase rach uh if she's not sent your photos do send them in uh antoine says well done as well so uh you've obviously got the seal of everybody uh including my friends from france so i like i like antoine's surname i'm not gonna try and say it how'd you say that they're a lovely couple antoine and brazil you should meet them that you'll get on very well with them they're lovely nicholas says here i love my church great having you part of crowd nicola it is and we all love crowd as well so all big love like i said at the start if you are not part of a church a member of a local church then why not keep coming along to our online services 4 p.m every sunday we live stream out and we tackle the big topics not gonna lie we do get into them and we have conversations around them try and figure out uh what this whole christian thing means and how jesus can help us live a more meaningful life uh which is it's a beautiful thing so we are going to get into that next week we have actually elias's dad uh coming he's sharing with us will is talking next week about the burial of christ so we're gonna get into that part of scripture where jesus is buried which may sound like a really odd thing to talk about right but as with all things in christianity there is a very good reason why we should talk about it and get our heads around the burial of christ and what that means for us today so do come along and check that out because it's going to be good will is an all-round top bloke isn't he rachel yeah oh he's great he's dead clever you know he's a doctor that's how you describe well he's just dead clever no he is he's like as i would say he's got a brain the size of a planet but yeah he's also a very humble man and um yeah so i just think it'll be really really interesting to hear what he's got to say yeah it is yeah yeah he's a great bible teacher as well scientist i mean just some really interesting stuff comes out of his mouth a lot of time for will uh he's a top bloke so you're going to want to make sure you join us next week for that at 4pm we're going to be live streaming live from liverpool so do come along and watch that and matt says oh yeah we've got disciple on wednesday evenings which is very true we do if you uh are wanting to dive deeper uh into the christian faith if you want to know more if you want to come along on a wednesday night 8 p.m we have a zoom call yes for those of you who struggle from zoom fatigue we get cu as well and we do a a bible study and so we're doing that uh every week and we get to hear from stories from one another and just build community so if you would like to join that then please do so wednesday 8pm again just let us know either through the whatsapp uh number or contact us through the church if you want to be included in just just keep doing that and it works then then let us know and we will send you all the information you need to come and join in on the wednesday night group so the number is here the website is here definitely come and do that now i just like doing that because i feel like i'm showing off now you know i it's uh it's one of those things rachel it's been brilliant haven't you thank you for being on the hosting team absolutely now the way we're going to close out the service today uh again if you've not been to election before we are going to play another song another worship song which again you're more than welcome to sing along with or to sit and reflect when the song ends when the music ends the live stream will end automatically so this is it from myself um rach have a beautiful week a fantastic week wherever you are god bless you uh it's been great doing church with you guys uh and great doing church with you ray it's been brilliant yeah likewise take care everyone god bless all right god bless you guys have a safe week bye for now before i spoke a word you were singing over me you have been so so good to me before i took a breath you breathed your life in me you have been so so kind to me oh the overwhelming never-ending reckless love of god oh it chases me down fights till i'm found leaves the 99 i couldn't earn it i don't deserve it still you give yourself away never-ending reckless love of god when i was your foe still your love fought for me when i felt no worth you paid it all for me oh the overwhelming never-ending reckless love of god oh it chases me down fights till i'm found leaves the 99 there's no shadow you won't light up mountain you won't climb up coming after me there's no wall you won't kick down lie you won't tear down coming after me mounting you one climber coming lie you won't turn out coming lie you won't tear down coming a mountain you won't climb up come it the snow wall you won't kick down after the me down fights till i'm found leaves the 99
